What is wrong with me?!?
I'm getting too cocky with myself.
I have forgotten my place here.
I'm just a low life servant who
is indebted with endless sins.
I am truly ugly inside and out...
I killed myself along the years that
passed by... Forgive me for destroying
Your creation. You gave me life and body
that is beautiful but I made it permanently
ugly as a whole. My past sins keep haunting
me relentlessly.How can someone degrading like
me face You?
That day is drawing nearer and nearer...

I also need to remind myself that nobody
deserves me and I don't deserve anybody...
I wasted some parts of my life.
I stained my own soul with sins
and permanent dirt.

I clearly had forgotten my place,
that is just a fragment of my uglinesss...

Heyyyyyy!!!!!!!
How's life?
Long time no update huh????
Frankly, I havent been updating because
I'm trying to comprehend and accept whatever
that has been happening in my life....

Firstly it's about my O' Level grades....
Hmmmm....................................
It's not what I expected but I'm thankful
for whatever I have.
I actually deserved it.
Why?
That's only for me to know.

I've been 'dropping and falling'
ever since I fell ill during CA2...
Am I really destined to fall?
Allah knows the answer.
With so many heart-breaking things going on...
I just don't know what to do.

And guess what?
This year is even 'better!'
This devastating thing just occurred in my life.
I just can't believe that it had happened.
He is so young...
how could he have the guts to do such immoral thing?!!!?!?
My whole family just cant get over the appalling incident.

As for JC, I was enrolled in AJC!
It was not bad.
The environment was good, the atmosphere was also good.
Gotta go now.
Ya Allah, please help me overcome my depressing moments
in life.

Take care!
Assalamualaikum.
Peace be upon all of you.

YES!!! FINALLY!!!
MY LAST DAY OF HUTANG PUASA.
ALHAMDULILLAH.

How's your holidays peeps?
Mine?
It's not exciting but enjoyable enough.
I get to rot in the house for weeks,
not going anywhere.
But hey, I caught up on facebook and
my cafe world is at it's best!
I also have sufficient sleep! :)
I'd like to hang out with friends
but as usual my mom wouldn't allow.
It's fine with me because
I have to do a lot of stuff after all.
Like cooking, washing, cleaning and so on.
But I do hangout...
with my siblings, who else?
Doing all sorts of CRAZY STUFF.

Disturbing the bangla workers who
renovate our block.

Boarding bus from one bus stop
and going one whole around before
eventually stopping at the opposite bus stop.

Climbing up one of the shelters that linked
a block to another, ignoring the public.
The public also didn't bother to do anything.
Typical, isn't it?

You know what,
you can actually be a shameless,
twisted freak although you're
a shy person. It's easy.
Just be selfish,
do it for yourself,
and not to please others.
Also, ignore whatever people
think about you.
Put on a wall-face.
Heck care with whatever they think.
Its fun! You should try
doing 'stunts' in public.
Just be wary of 'evil freaks'
who want to 'stomp' you.

They always say that
'first impression counts'.
YEAH RIGHT.
People who practice that
are always in trouble for their
wrong perception.
For example,
people who met me always think of me
as a good, quiet person,
who can NEVER HARM people.
But really,
if you knew my past,
you wouldn't ever say that.
But I've learnt my mistakes,
and am improving myself,
though not much.

Good people aren't always good,
Bad people aren't always bad.

There are some 'bad' people
who seemed that way because
they wanna be cool.
If you watch them over and over
again... they are innocent fools.
Its not always the 'bad' people
you should be wary about.
It's the 'good' people
you should definitely worry about.

That's all for today!
Till the neXt airport.
Assalamualaikum.

Labels: Pesky judgement made by humans

Recap: Pulau Ubin Trip! :D

Yep, I went on a date with my
fellow madrasah mates organised
by an experienced Uztaz.
Trust me, he's more than experienced.
He's gone rock and mountain climbing
in exotic places for years.
Such a rare Uztaz indeed!

Anyway, my good friend Atiq didn't turn up.
Kinda disappointing...
We're frens for a decade already
and still counting, of course.
She's really sweet.

So the total number including Uztaz,
who turned up was only a pathetic 10.
Like, what's up with the rest of them?

We took several pics.
Look them up in facebook.
Uztaz planned on coursing through
the 'kampung' tracks before we went
through the extreme tracks.
And we really did as he had planned.

Ouh, and there are disgusting piles
of faeces, ugh!
The tracks at Pulau Ubin can't be found
anywhere in Singapore.
It was heck loads of fun!!
The slopes were a turn on!

The extreme track started when Uztaz
led us to some jungle.
I mean seriously, with our bikes?!
It was muddy so we had difficulty
even pushing our bikes, what more
riding it. And then, there
were steep slopes where it is
utterly impossible for you to ride
your way down unless you have made up
your mind to meet your ancestors.
I even slipped a little on
this particular slope.
Alhamdulillah, the rest of my friends are okay.
We also had to ride up a few steep slopes.

After the incessant battling with
the rocky and muddy tracks, we're
out of the forest.
The scene was like some kind of quarry,
similar to Guilin!
Stunning!
"Hey, it bores Guilin!" I exclaimed.
"Hey, it looks like Bukit Batok!" exclaimed
this pathetic dude.
What on Earth? Really, this dude
has eyesight problems!

Suddenly, it started drizzling.
So we had to race to a nearest shelter,
which is not even near.
We were still cycling when it was
raining heavily!!!
Cycling in the rain, baybeh!
One of the best feeling in the world! :)
And then, the dude from before
urged me to race with him.
I declined of course!

I was the third person to reach the
shelter. I was completely drenched-no,
soaked-no, FLOODED! Yes, flooded!
The annoying dude arrived first.
He greeted me with a,
" Why do the bikes go faster
when it rains?"
I mean like, seriously???
Dude, did the rain get inside
your head and flood your brain?
Not once, but a couple or triple
times he asked me the same question.
I was too awed to answer him.
Is he testing me or annoying me?
Before I threw out my ridicule,
the rest had arrived, saving him
from my wrath.
What is wrong with that dude?
He's from express,
surely he knew more and enough
about friction.

Apart from that,
we visited the Che Jawa
and spend some time in sightseeing.
Very interesting and splendid!
Masya Allah, His creations are
utterly superb, beautiful and the BEST!
So that sums the whole trip.
Of course, I have filtered whatever
crap my girls and I hollered about.

If u wanna go for some wild cycling,
go for Pulau Ubin!
You'll die with no regrets!

That's it.
Till next airport
Peace be upon you,
Assalamualaikum! :D

SIMPLE STEAMED FISH

I just need to share with you this simple,
healthy yet tasty dish recipe!
The fish I'm always using is
the white promphet, shown below.
Ignore the reddish colour, it's the
lighting effect.



You can always adjust the quantity to suit your needs.
I always 'slash' the fish with two lines on each side
(not necessary.)
to make it easier to distinguish
the bony and the fleshy parts.
Also, it ensures that the flesh is well cooked.

Just sliced or diced 1 or 2 red onions.
Chopped some spring onions and celery
(daun sup daun bawang).
Chopped or cubed some tomatoes.
You can add in more vegetables such as
carrots and bell peppers.
You can also add sliced chilli
if you're a spicy lover.

Place all the cut ingredients with the fish.
Splash some soya bean sauce (kicap),
all over the ingredients,
depending on the amount of gravy you wanted.
It's enough for me once I see the base just
covered with the sauce.
Mind you, the soya bean sauce is salty so
if the gravy is too salty after it's cooked,
you can always add water.
Add one table spoon of soy sauce.
(doesn't matter dark or light)
You can also sprinkle some white pepper
or black pepper, if you're a spicy lover.
Do not put in any salt.
All right,
all is set!
This preparation takes around 10-15 mins.
If you're fast, you can do it in 5 mins,
or even lesser!



Steam the whole thing until the fish is cooked.
Steam it only after the water boils.
Under small heat, it'll take around 30-35 mins.
Medium heat will take around 25-30 mins.
I recommend small heat, it ensures that the
fish is cooked thorouhly and saves your gas bill.



Tadaa! The final product.
My presentation sucks, I know.
You can do a lot better.
Anyway, the taste is the same...
DELICIOUS!
Serve with rice and vegetable soup.



Yummy yum!
Try it!
Enjoy it! :D

Woooooohoooooo!
FREEDOM BABY, TASTE IT!
EXAMS ARE OVER,
THE ONE THAT WE'VE BEEN SO WORRIED
FOR FOUR YEARS IS FINALLY OVER!!!!
YEAH.....
A NEW CHAPTER IS STARTING.
OVER. EVERYTHING'S OVER.
WHATEVER PROBLEMS AND SORROW IN SCHOOL,
IT'S ALL OVER.
I DON'T HAVE TO DWELL IN IT ANYMORE.
I'M FREEEEEEEEE!!!!!
:D

Hey peeps!
I WILL NOT BLOG FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
I will resume right after I have completed my
last O Level paper, after I reach home that is...
WANNA NOE WHY?
BECAUSE I HAVE FREAKINGLY SCREW UP MY PRELIMS.
YEA...
IT'S THE FIRST TIME MY MIND WENT BLANK
AFTER 15 YEARS OF SITTING FOR ANY EXAMS.
TO MAKE THINGS WORSE,
MY AMATHS PAPER IS TOTALLY SCREWED....
NOOOOO... MY STRONGEST SUBJECT....
POOF, GONE !
Haish...
Its ALL MY FAULT.
Ive been slacking for a few months...
I think Ive become complacent...
which is why I think this
'screwed-up-exams' is a good thing for me.
Its a wake up call which will make me WAKE
UP AS IF HELL IS IN FRONT OF ME.
Thank you Allah,
for making me realise.
With Your Guidance, I will succeed.
Please, help me,
give me Your strength to overcome this.

I am prepared to be condemned by my parents
and teachers for my poor performance.
I resign everything to Allah.
I will make sure this will not happen for
O Levels.
Hopefully I wont disappoint my teachers,
parents and most importantly,
myself for O levels.

For Adek,
I'm such a lousy sister.
But dont you worry,
I will always have you in my heart.
Please do your best in everything you do.
You can achieve the best, Im sure of it!
if you put in effort that is.
Thank you for making me smile. :)
You know how I rarely smile
and be really happy.
Your 'loud and crazy' attitude never
fail to make me happy and look forward
to the time talking to you.
Of course, that is just the surface.
You have your own troubles to worry.
I am very sure that Allah will help and guide
you through your problems.
Have faith in that.
Forgive me for ever hurting you.
Ouh and you can still sms me
whenever you need me. :)